My tastes in music run the gamut...rock, blues, jazz, some classical, new age, alt-country, old school soul. I love great musicians and great singers, especially great singers. The majority of the rock bands I listened to while I was growing up was due to their great vocals. I still love to hear great singers, no matter their genre (well, almost no matter their genre...some genre trains I just can't get on, no matter how good the vocals...those who know me best know the specific train to which I am referring).
While rock and blues have made up my primary lifelong playlist, a lot of music from the 1940's-60s really appeals to me, again most of it primarily featuring great singers. I love Sinatra, Bing, Dean, Rosemary, so many from that era. But the singer from that time and genre who still captivates me the most is Tony Bennett. I don't care what I'm doing or where I am, if I hear Tony's voice, I stop and enjoy the pure genius of his rich, lush voice. I know many feel the same way and Tony has been and remains an inspiration to countless singers of multiple generations.
With that as a backdrop, here's the point of today's blog. Tony's birthday was earlier this month (August 3) and one of the tributes to him that I read online was from a music critic who said Tony inspired him to become a music critic. I really found this interesting, as so many singers over the last half century have credited Tony with inspiring them to sing, but this is the first time I've seen a critic credit an artist for inspiring them to a career of critique (or criticism, depending on the critic and artist).
This got me thinking about the difference between participation and observation, the divide between creativity and commentary. I know numerous people who do both, but in each case their observation and commentary comes from the foundation of their creativity, from the fact that they participate in the creative process rather than just add their opinion about what someone else has done. Their right to critique has been earned by their own engagement in the struggle to bring something to life that probably no one else can...or should.
None of this is to beat up the music critic who paid tribute to Tony. Who knows, maybe he has turned readers on to several artists who otherwise may not have been known by that section of the music-loving world? Maybe he can't sing or play or note, but his love for music is so great that this is the way he can be part of something that brings joy to all of us?
But, we're surrounded by critics on every front today, most of whom seem bent on bringing something other than joy to our shared journey. Maybe they criticize because they don't believe in their gift? Maybe they don't know what their gift is? Maybe they're just scared and over time became mean as well, so dumping on someone else's gift and courage is the only thing they're any good at anymore?
Whatever has made the critic the critic, you and I still have the opportunity (every day) to decide in which part of the process we will spend our time and how we will use what is inside us. Call it a gift, call it talent, call it inspiration, call it a calling...whatever you call it, something that only you can create is waiting for you to do just that...create it. Write it, build it, video it, choreograph it, speak it, sing it, whatever it means to create it. And most of you know what your "it" is.
In The War of Art, Steven Pressfield writes, "The professional learns to recognize envy-driven criticism and to take it for what it is: the supreme compliment. The critic hates most that which he would have done himself if had had the guts." Maybe part of your calling and mine is to give the perpetual critic something to hate.
Don't hide from yourself or "it" today. Create. Show up for work today. Show up for yourself. Critics need something to talk about. The rest of us need something to inspire us, move us, teach us, transform us, as well as something to sing along to.
Friday, August 23, 2013
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
A Dangerous Decision
I recently learned that someone who I have watched from a distance has undergone a significant life-change...one that that they were neither expecting or wanting. This life-change was self-induced, even though they have chosen to not see it that way. The point on which several people who have observed this life-change seem to agree is that the change was necessary. This individual was out of control, becoming more and more damaging to people who had no way to protect themselves. And the person most at risk for suffering irreversible damage was the individual about whom I am writing.
So a life-change has come to them, but it has also come for them, even if they do not currently recognize it as such. When I first heard of their change, an unexpected thought (more like a prayer) came to mind: Please give them the grace to develop some grace. This is not a sentiment I expected to have for this person, because I definitely agreed that they needed a life-change before they brought any more reputational harm to people they seemed to care nothing about. My tendency in cases like this is to say, "Good, this is what needed to happen to them," and then I move on (in the interest of full-disclosure, I did say this initially, but then moved on to the grace thought/prayer).
"Please give them the grace to develop some grace." Upon having the thought, I was not and have not been able to shake its implications. If grace is something we are able to develop, then that development only matters if we then become people who extend that grace. And when we decide to make the extension of grace part of our basic operating system, then we have just made a very dangerous decision.
Before I explain why I believe this is dangerous, let me explain what I mean by grace. Some readers will immediately default to phrases involving unmerited favor, etc., but I'd like to put it a bit plainer, which hopefully makes the whole idea of grace more accessible to each of us. By grace I am simply referring to giving others the benefit of the doubt, even when everything in us is screaming to not do so. In addition, I believe extending grace means that I am going to value your humanity as much as my own, thereby allowing for your flaws in the same way I make room for mine.
What makes this dangerous is if I actually do this, I take something away from myself that I tend to hold pretty closely and dearly...my perceived right to dismiss you as a person, as well as to hope that what I most need for myself is not available to you. In other words, I remove from my operating system those attitudes and actions that protect me from you, making me open to being wounded by your flaws and struggles. Maybe the most dangerous aspect of this is that I take away my insistence that you must pay for what your flaws have done to myself and others.
So if I am to truly become fully human, I must allow you the space to do the same. Nothing new or ground-breaking about that statement, but operating this way will change who we are at our core and that is no small thing. The act of becoming fully human, as we are intended to be, is definitely process-driven and I believe developing grace is part of that process. This process is...
...inconvenient...not always satisfying...dangerous....ultimately transformational. This is grace.
So a life-change has come to them, but it has also come for them, even if they do not currently recognize it as such. When I first heard of their change, an unexpected thought (more like a prayer) came to mind: Please give them the grace to develop some grace. This is not a sentiment I expected to have for this person, because I definitely agreed that they needed a life-change before they brought any more reputational harm to people they seemed to care nothing about. My tendency in cases like this is to say, "Good, this is what needed to happen to them," and then I move on (in the interest of full-disclosure, I did say this initially, but then moved on to the grace thought/prayer).
"Please give them the grace to develop some grace." Upon having the thought, I was not and have not been able to shake its implications. If grace is something we are able to develop, then that development only matters if we then become people who extend that grace. And when we decide to make the extension of grace part of our basic operating system, then we have just made a very dangerous decision.
Before I explain why I believe this is dangerous, let me explain what I mean by grace. Some readers will immediately default to phrases involving unmerited favor, etc., but I'd like to put it a bit plainer, which hopefully makes the whole idea of grace more accessible to each of us. By grace I am simply referring to giving others the benefit of the doubt, even when everything in us is screaming to not do so. In addition, I believe extending grace means that I am going to value your humanity as much as my own, thereby allowing for your flaws in the same way I make room for mine.
What makes this dangerous is if I actually do this, I take something away from myself that I tend to hold pretty closely and dearly...my perceived right to dismiss you as a person, as well as to hope that what I most need for myself is not available to you. In other words, I remove from my operating system those attitudes and actions that protect me from you, making me open to being wounded by your flaws and struggles. Maybe the most dangerous aspect of this is that I take away my insistence that you must pay for what your flaws have done to myself and others.
So if I am to truly become fully human, I must allow you the space to do the same. Nothing new or ground-breaking about that statement, but operating this way will change who we are at our core and that is no small thing. The act of becoming fully human, as we are intended to be, is definitely process-driven and I believe developing grace is part of that process. This process is...
...inconvenient...not always satisfying...dangerous....ultimately transformational. This is grace.
Friday, August 2, 2013
Wake-up call
"I've been absent from my own life." Those were the words I spoke to a friend recently to describe both where I've been and who I've been for the better part of the last 18 months. For people who do not know me well and who observe my day-to-day activity, such a statement might be a surprise. For those who do know me well (of which there aren't many), I'm sure the statement is no surprise.
Life piles up on us, typically while we're busy with the things we mistakenly believe are central to living. But as most of us know, the un-examined, un-intentional life over time becomes empty and un-sustainable. At least that's what it became for me. Those words spoken to my friend came at the end of a day where an undeniable wake-up call was being offered to me. It wasn't a wake-up call of thundering voices and events, but was instead made up of small components of a day-long theme. It was an invitation. I said yes.
What I have needed to wake up from really isn't important. Bad stuff happens to all of us. We all get hurt, disappointed, misused. We lose sight of dreams. We lose sight of ourselves. I allowed the external hurt and disappointment to cloud over the dreams and selfhood I know to be true. I have begun the process of coming back to life, back to myself, reclaiming hope and true identity in the process.
And it is a process. I have not DONE this, but am instead returning to DOING it. To be absent from one's life does happen one day at a time and then the days pile up, turning into weeks, turning into far too much time. The reclaiming of one's life happens the same way. I know this, but there is a difference between the knowledge of it and the practice of it. And to practice it is to begin to reclaim the days and weeks, thereby reclaiming oneself.
The wake-up call keeps coming and I'm doing my best to answer it each day. It's nice to be present in my own life again. Hope that's true for you as well today.
Life piles up on us, typically while we're busy with the things we mistakenly believe are central to living. But as most of us know, the un-examined, un-intentional life over time becomes empty and un-sustainable. At least that's what it became for me. Those words spoken to my friend came at the end of a day where an undeniable wake-up call was being offered to me. It wasn't a wake-up call of thundering voices and events, but was instead made up of small components of a day-long theme. It was an invitation. I said yes.
What I have needed to wake up from really isn't important. Bad stuff happens to all of us. We all get hurt, disappointed, misused. We lose sight of dreams. We lose sight of ourselves. I allowed the external hurt and disappointment to cloud over the dreams and selfhood I know to be true. I have begun the process of coming back to life, back to myself, reclaiming hope and true identity in the process.
And it is a process. I have not DONE this, but am instead returning to DOING it. To be absent from one's life does happen one day at a time and then the days pile up, turning into weeks, turning into far too much time. The reclaiming of one's life happens the same way. I know this, but there is a difference between the knowledge of it and the practice of it. And to practice it is to begin to reclaim the days and weeks, thereby reclaiming oneself.
The wake-up call keeps coming and I'm doing my best to answer it each day. It's nice to be present in my own life again. Hope that's true for you as well today.
Monday, November 5, 2012
The 3rd option
Tomorrow is election day in the U.S. Millions will go to the polls (or already have through the opportunity of early voting) to elect a president, senators, congressmen and congresswomen, as well as countless state and local representatives. The right and privilege to vote is one that so many around the world do not enjoy, nor do many of them have any hope of doing so in the near future, if even at any point in their lifetimes. To say that as Americans we are a privileged people is an understatement...
...and our privilege is destroying us. Throughout this election cycle (something that now appears to last 4 years at a time) I have witnessed "we the people" behave in ways that I believe are beneath us. I am not referring to the countless candidates courting our votes, but instead to me, to you, to each of us for whom "they" (the elected officials) supposedly work. Whether a more privileged society has ever existed, there is no way to tell but what is clear is that our position in the world has intoxicated us with the false beliefs that the rest of the world does not matter quite as much as we do, that freedom of speech requires that no actual thought and reason accompany what we say, that only one half of the country's political spectrum has anything of value to offer and that the other half (the one whom we dislike and with whom we disagree) is the reason this country is going to hell on a bullet train.
We say we stand for things like "liberty and justice for all," "give me your tired, your poor," that we are a model and beacon of hope for the rest of the world. But I have read on social and traditional media sites the thoughts from everyday, ordinary citizens (many of whom I know personally) such as myself and I find there very little that seems to exhibit any concern for the tired, the poor, that insists on justice for everyone. How did we become so un-feeling, so un-caring, so mean? When did the absolute crap that flows from cable news outlets 24 hours a day replace reasoned thinking (as well as the civil expression of that thinking)? Why do we refuse to allow the other person with whom we may disagree to express their views without us telling them what an idiot, fascist, communist, etc., they are?
The problems we face as a country are huge. The leadership we have in place at nearly every level of government seems unable or unwilling to tackle those problems in any substantive way. I have heard many people express that they wish there was a viable 3rd option running for president. While that may not be the case regarding the presidency, there is a 3rd option.
You are the 3rd option. I am the 3rd option. No, not to be president (not interested whatsoever), but to be the citizens we are called to be. At his inauguration the first President Bush called on us to be a kinder, gentler nation. Dear God, if ever this was needed, it is now. The founders of our country as well as countless men and women have given their lives to protect the freedoms you and I enjoy. I do not believe their sacrifices were so that you and I could spew venom and call it patriotism, or to deride entire groups of citizens because they do not measure up to my standards of being a "good American." We can be better than this. We should be better than this. We must be better than this.
This is the first and only time I have used social media to share my views during this election. And at the end of the day that is all they are...my views, the views of one guy in the face of a tidal wave of spin and poison that passes for political discourse in 2012. But I am a citizen of the United States of America. I have been handed tremendous freedom, simply because I was born here. With that freedom comes tremendous responsibility. Whether my candidates win or lose tomorrow I am not absolved of the responsibility of living and behaving like a citizen of this nation should.
I am the 3rd option.
...and our privilege is destroying us. Throughout this election cycle (something that now appears to last 4 years at a time) I have witnessed "we the people" behave in ways that I believe are beneath us. I am not referring to the countless candidates courting our votes, but instead to me, to you, to each of us for whom "they" (the elected officials) supposedly work. Whether a more privileged society has ever existed, there is no way to tell but what is clear is that our position in the world has intoxicated us with the false beliefs that the rest of the world does not matter quite as much as we do, that freedom of speech requires that no actual thought and reason accompany what we say, that only one half of the country's political spectrum has anything of value to offer and that the other half (the one whom we dislike and with whom we disagree) is the reason this country is going to hell on a bullet train.
We say we stand for things like "liberty and justice for all," "give me your tired, your poor," that we are a model and beacon of hope for the rest of the world. But I have read on social and traditional media sites the thoughts from everyday, ordinary citizens (many of whom I know personally) such as myself and I find there very little that seems to exhibit any concern for the tired, the poor, that insists on justice for everyone. How did we become so un-feeling, so un-caring, so mean? When did the absolute crap that flows from cable news outlets 24 hours a day replace reasoned thinking (as well as the civil expression of that thinking)? Why do we refuse to allow the other person with whom we may disagree to express their views without us telling them what an idiot, fascist, communist, etc., they are?
The problems we face as a country are huge. The leadership we have in place at nearly every level of government seems unable or unwilling to tackle those problems in any substantive way. I have heard many people express that they wish there was a viable 3rd option running for president. While that may not be the case regarding the presidency, there is a 3rd option.
You are the 3rd option. I am the 3rd option. No, not to be president (not interested whatsoever), but to be the citizens we are called to be. At his inauguration the first President Bush called on us to be a kinder, gentler nation. Dear God, if ever this was needed, it is now. The founders of our country as well as countless men and women have given their lives to protect the freedoms you and I enjoy. I do not believe their sacrifices were so that you and I could spew venom and call it patriotism, or to deride entire groups of citizens because they do not measure up to my standards of being a "good American." We can be better than this. We should be better than this. We must be better than this.
This is the first and only time I have used social media to share my views during this election. And at the end of the day that is all they are...my views, the views of one guy in the face of a tidal wave of spin and poison that passes for political discourse in 2012. But I am a citizen of the United States of America. I have been handed tremendous freedom, simply because I was born here. With that freedom comes tremendous responsibility. Whether my candidates win or lose tomorrow I am not absolved of the responsibility of living and behaving like a citizen of this nation should.
I am the 3rd option.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Hope in a shopping cart
In the almost 6 years that I have been part of the anti-sex trafficking organization, Second Life of Chattanooga, I have found myself in a variety of settings/meetings/events, all of which were hopefully designed to help our cause of bringing an end to the terror of human sex trafficking in Greater Chattanooga/Southeast Tennessee. Many of these gatherings have been encouraging, inspiring and transformational. Others, not so much. But of all the events I have attended during this time, the one I was part of last night was definitely one of the most personally impactful.
Every Fall, Lee University in Cleveland, TN has a competition between their residence halls called "Dorm Wars." Dorm Wars is now a 20-year long tradition at Lee and consists of a night of some of the craziest, loudest, most intense competition you have ever seen. The winning dorms (1 men's residence hall winner, 1 women's residence hall winner) get trophies, medals, serious bragging rights, as well as prize money that they donate to the local service organization they have decided to sponsor for that year's Dorm Wars. This year the women of Simmons/Nora Chambers contacted us and asked us if we would be interested in being their service organization. Even though I did my undergrad work at Lee, given the fact that I went to school there 100 years ago, Dorm Wars was something new to me, but hey, any opportunity to further our cause is something we say "yes" to.
A few weeks before the competition my Second Life partner, Terri Self, and I met with the resident director of Simmons/Nora Chambers and several of the residents so that they could get to know more about us and us them. It was a fun, engaging time and they told us they would love to have us come to the competition, which we of course said that we would. So, last night we show up at Walker Arena and they're waiting in the lobby for us with our own "SNORA" t-shirts and direct us to their section in the arena.
I swear I've been to quieter rock shows. The place was packed, each of the dorms had their own specific uniforms, performed an opening routine when they were introduced and never sat down or stopped screaming during the entire 2 hour event. The music never stopped and was everything from hip-hop to pop to 80's rock to Bieber (which we all know is a genre unto itself).
Dorm Wars's competition involves things like 3-legged races, sack races and an obstacle course. But it was during the shopping cart relay (complete with crash helmets and students throwing themselves out of the cart so their next teammate could jump in) that what was really going on began to hit me. The various service organizations for which each of the dorms were competing are all fine organizations and do great work. But as I watched our SNORA girls go all-out on behalf of Second Life during the shopping cart relay I was struck by the thought that in the middle of the screaming, music and mayhem as the carts sped through the course something else was speaking even louder: the power of human joy. I witnessed, was surrounded by and participated in the joy of being alive, of knowing that in spite of how hard and at times dark life can be, sometimes a shopping cart relay is exactly what you need to remind you that life is precious, laughter and music are gifts from above, and everybody deserves them.
Terri and I, along with the scores of others who make up our organization, fight trafficking every day with awareness that creates collaborative action. We sit in meetings, we leverage relationships, we utilize media, we advocate, we use every tool at our disposal to see the captives set free and the traffickers shut down. Last night the women of SNORA used a shopping cart against the backdrop of un-contained human joy. I don't think I've ever seen a more powerful weapon.
My ears rang most of today from how loud it was in that arena last night. It is my hope that the echo of last night will somehow reach the ears of those who are waiting on all of us who fight on their behalf, that they will hold on because we are doing our best to get to them, to get them free, to get them home. In this fight we use weapons like passion, belief, un-ending faith, hope. And joy. And shopping carts.
Every Fall, Lee University in Cleveland, TN has a competition between their residence halls called "Dorm Wars." Dorm Wars is now a 20-year long tradition at Lee and consists of a night of some of the craziest, loudest, most intense competition you have ever seen. The winning dorms (1 men's residence hall winner, 1 women's residence hall winner) get trophies, medals, serious bragging rights, as well as prize money that they donate to the local service organization they have decided to sponsor for that year's Dorm Wars. This year the women of Simmons/Nora Chambers contacted us and asked us if we would be interested in being their service organization. Even though I did my undergrad work at Lee, given the fact that I went to school there 100 years ago, Dorm Wars was something new to me, but hey, any opportunity to further our cause is something we say "yes" to.
A few weeks before the competition my Second Life partner, Terri Self, and I met with the resident director of Simmons/Nora Chambers and several of the residents so that they could get to know more about us and us them. It was a fun, engaging time and they told us they would love to have us come to the competition, which we of course said that we would. So, last night we show up at Walker Arena and they're waiting in the lobby for us with our own "SNORA" t-shirts and direct us to their section in the arena.
I swear I've been to quieter rock shows. The place was packed, each of the dorms had their own specific uniforms, performed an opening routine when they were introduced and never sat down or stopped screaming during the entire 2 hour event. The music never stopped and was everything from hip-hop to pop to 80's rock to Bieber (which we all know is a genre unto itself).
Dorm Wars's competition involves things like 3-legged races, sack races and an obstacle course. But it was during the shopping cart relay (complete with crash helmets and students throwing themselves out of the cart so their next teammate could jump in) that what was really going on began to hit me. The various service organizations for which each of the dorms were competing are all fine organizations and do great work. But as I watched our SNORA girls go all-out on behalf of Second Life during the shopping cart relay I was struck by the thought that in the middle of the screaming, music and mayhem as the carts sped through the course something else was speaking even louder: the power of human joy. I witnessed, was surrounded by and participated in the joy of being alive, of knowing that in spite of how hard and at times dark life can be, sometimes a shopping cart relay is exactly what you need to remind you that life is precious, laughter and music are gifts from above, and everybody deserves them.
Terri and I, along with the scores of others who make up our organization, fight trafficking every day with awareness that creates collaborative action. We sit in meetings, we leverage relationships, we utilize media, we advocate, we use every tool at our disposal to see the captives set free and the traffickers shut down. Last night the women of SNORA used a shopping cart against the backdrop of un-contained human joy. I don't think I've ever seen a more powerful weapon.
My ears rang most of today from how loud it was in that arena last night. It is my hope that the echo of last night will somehow reach the ears of those who are waiting on all of us who fight on their behalf, that they will hold on because we are doing our best to get to them, to get them free, to get them home. In this fight we use weapons like passion, belief, un-ending faith, hope. And joy. And shopping carts.
Monday, March 19, 2012
What I've learned (so far) from my knee-replacement surgery
Four weeks ago I had knee-replacement surgery (left knee for those keeping score at home). Since then I've had to get used to some new realities, spent a lot of time in physical therapy, dealt with plenty of pain, and gradually seen strength and flexibility begin to return around my brand new knee joint. I've spent some time thinking about why I needed the surgery, as well as the benefits and adjustments coming my way because of it.
As usual, this has led to some metaphorical thinking on my part. So, here are some things I've learned from getting a new knee that I believe can also apply to leadership, organizational dynamics, systems, relationships, as well as the arc of your life:
My old knee no longer worked. The pain I was in was suggesting this, but getting it examined and having the x-rays confirm I was bone-on-bone removed all doubt that the legacy system of my original knee had to go. Most organizations/teams/people spend more time convincing themselves that they don't need to make a big change than wisely investing the time it would take to actually make and begin to live out the needed change. It doesn't work anymore. Admit it. Change it. Get healthy again.
Pre-surgery reality was a lot of pain. Post-recovery reality promises no pain and new movement/flexibility/the ability to focus on other things since I don't have to focus on my knee anymore. In between those realities is even more pain, hard work, a great deal of discomfort, and the learning-curve on how to fully utilize my new knee-joint. If you, your team, or organization is stuck in the "pre-phase" because you want to avoid the pain of deep change and having to learn how to live in a new reality, my advice is simple: man or woman up, grow a spine, be the steward of your life, team, organization you claim you are, and get on with it. In other words, be a leader. You stay in the "pre-phase" long enough, refusing to take the next step of the hard change, we'll finally refuse to listen to your whining. So will those with the power to get somebody else to do the job you were hired to do.
Because I'm a realitively young knee-replacement patient, I have more muscle mass that has to heal post-surgery than the typical knee-replacement patient. What's the lesson here? Simple. Stop relying on previous strength, success, security. It may in fact now be an obstacle to where you know you're to go next. If what used to be strength for you is now actually holding you back from becoming who and what you could be in the future, stop protecting that old strength. Push through it in spite of the pain, make it bend to new directions and realities, thereby establishing the strength you need for now and what's ahead. What got you here won't take you there.
It has taken a team to give me my new knee, and then an entirely different team to show me how to use it. Dr. Ballard and his team made sure the surgery went "beautifully" (his words), but immediately after the surgery a team at Memorial Hospital stepped in to make sure the first few post-surgery days went exactly as they needed to. Since I left the hosptial, another team of physical therapists are showing me how to use the new knee, how to move from a walker to a cane to finally no assistance at all. Plus, my wife and mom, as well as my daughter when she's visited, have made sure I've had the proper rest, diet, exercise, and encouragement at home to keep me on the road of progress. Don't rob yourself of the gift of the power of a team working together, especially if you're the one "in charge." If you're in a faith-based setting, stop using the word "community" like it's some sort of brand-name and instead take the risk of finding out what it really means. Like I said in one of last week's posts, if you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together.
Hope you find some of this to be helpful/encouraging/challenging. And remember these words of an anonymous change agent from the past: "It'll feel better when it stops hurting."
As usual, this has led to some metaphorical thinking on my part. So, here are some things I've learned from getting a new knee that I believe can also apply to leadership, organizational dynamics, systems, relationships, as well as the arc of your life:
My old knee no longer worked. The pain I was in was suggesting this, but getting it examined and having the x-rays confirm I was bone-on-bone removed all doubt that the legacy system of my original knee had to go. Most organizations/teams/people spend more time convincing themselves that they don't need to make a big change than wisely investing the time it would take to actually make and begin to live out the needed change. It doesn't work anymore. Admit it. Change it. Get healthy again.
Pre-surgery reality was a lot of pain. Post-recovery reality promises no pain and new movement/flexibility/the ability to focus on other things since I don't have to focus on my knee anymore. In between those realities is even more pain, hard work, a great deal of discomfort, and the learning-curve on how to fully utilize my new knee-joint. If you, your team, or organization is stuck in the "pre-phase" because you want to avoid the pain of deep change and having to learn how to live in a new reality, my advice is simple: man or woman up, grow a spine, be the steward of your life, team, organization you claim you are, and get on with it. In other words, be a leader. You stay in the "pre-phase" long enough, refusing to take the next step of the hard change, we'll finally refuse to listen to your whining. So will those with the power to get somebody else to do the job you were hired to do.
Because I'm a realitively young knee-replacement patient, I have more muscle mass that has to heal post-surgery than the typical knee-replacement patient. What's the lesson here? Simple. Stop relying on previous strength, success, security. It may in fact now be an obstacle to where you know you're to go next. If what used to be strength for you is now actually holding you back from becoming who and what you could be in the future, stop protecting that old strength. Push through it in spite of the pain, make it bend to new directions and realities, thereby establishing the strength you need for now and what's ahead. What got you here won't take you there.
It has taken a team to give me my new knee, and then an entirely different team to show me how to use it. Dr. Ballard and his team made sure the surgery went "beautifully" (his words), but immediately after the surgery a team at Memorial Hospital stepped in to make sure the first few post-surgery days went exactly as they needed to. Since I left the hosptial, another team of physical therapists are showing me how to use the new knee, how to move from a walker to a cane to finally no assistance at all. Plus, my wife and mom, as well as my daughter when she's visited, have made sure I've had the proper rest, diet, exercise, and encouragement at home to keep me on the road of progress. Don't rob yourself of the gift of the power of a team working together, especially if you're the one "in charge." If you're in a faith-based setting, stop using the word "community" like it's some sort of brand-name and instead take the risk of finding out what it really means. Like I said in one of last week's posts, if you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together.
Hope you find some of this to be helpful/encouraging/challenging. And remember these words of an anonymous change agent from the past: "It'll feel better when it stops hurting."
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Class is back in session
This morning I was watching Paul Gilding give a talk on sustainability on TED.com (a talk I recommend you check out). In the middle of listening to Paul talk about our need to make significant change now in order to assure the future sustainability of civilization, it dawned on me that it has been quite a while since I've visited the TED site. I then realized that the other learning opportunities/outlets in which I have regularly engaged had all gotten pushed somewhat to the margins of my life over the last several months. This was difficult to admit, especially given the fact that one of my stated core values is learning.
As I listened to Paul I realized that what I've been doing since at least sometime last year is not really learning, but simply gathering information in order to then disseminate that information to others. Now, given the fact that part of who I am and what I do involves speaking in various faith-based and non-faith-based settings, acquiring a certain amount of information necessary to giving the talk is part of the gig. But, it seems I've turned learning into nothing but information gathering. I am glad for this realization, especially given what is now unfolding in my life in terms of next steps and new direction. If ever there was a time I need to be student, it's now and so I'm grateful for this morning's realization. I'm not talking about making some huge life-shift here. Instead, it's simply a matter of a slight correction in thinking and approach, which is how most of the truly important changes happen for us anyway.
As I listened to Paul I realized that what I've been doing since at least sometime last year is not really learning, but simply gathering information in order to then disseminate that information to others. Now, given the fact that part of who I am and what I do involves speaking in various faith-based and non-faith-based settings, acquiring a certain amount of information necessary to giving the talk is part of the gig. But, it seems I've turned learning into nothing but information gathering. I am glad for this realization, especially given what is now unfolding in my life in terms of next steps and new direction. If ever there was a time I need to be student, it's now and so I'm grateful for this morning's realization. I'm not talking about making some huge life-shift here. Instead, it's simply a matter of a slight correction in thinking and approach, which is how most of the truly important changes happen for us anyway.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)