"Use your words. Please use your words." That's what a friend said to me yesterday during a phone conversation regarding a decision I've been contemplating for the last couple of weeks. I had called her to ask for both advice and help. Advice about whether or not to take a particular step and then help to take that step. It is a step that I've spent most of the last 21 months thinking I wouldn't (couldn't) take again. But my friend encouraged me that I both could and should take this step. Her voice is one of several who have talked with me over the last 2 weeks, each of whom giving the same encouragement as did my friend yesterday.
The step is a return to preaching (I actually hesitated just now before I could type the word. I wanted to just type "speaking" instead. I knew that doing so wouldn't be honest). A return to preaching. Years ago the idea of a "return" to it would have been foreign to me because I would not have been able to picture myself having left it. Over the last almost two years the same idea seemed just as foreign, but instead due to having done it, having been part of "organized Christianity." I grew up in organized Christianity and have spent most of my life trying to make sense of it as a human being, because the two (organized Christianity and being a human being) have seemed pretty incompatible for most of my 53 years.
Plus, I grew up in a preacher's home, so I grew up with an insider's view of the industry of religion, church, whatever you can call it. Feeling a calling to preach in my late teens pretty much scared me to death and I spent the next 17 years avoiding that sense of calling, primarily because I just wanted to be happy. Life in the church, and especially as a preacher, seemed to me to be the farthest thing from happiness I could imagine.
Over time, however, the calling began to feel more like an invitation than a life sentence of misery. So, as a man well into my 30's, I began the journey of moving into ministry, specifically preaching, which led to becoming a pastor. I did that for over a decade. It nearly killed me.
I could outline numerous reasons why the experience almost did me in, but suffice to say the incompatibility between organized Christianity and one's desire/hope of becoming fully human is still alive and well. The more serious I became about my own journey of faith and the process of becoming a human who endeavors to reflect and live out the image of God, the more the gatekeepers of organized Christianity dug their knives into me. The fact that I had no interest in speaking in such a way that fed their self-focused, consumer-driven approach to faith and spirituality only made me more of a target.
So, they drove me out, drove me away. And then after a while I kept myself out, away. Because of my work with Second Life of Chattanooga, speaking has remained a constant in my life, but preaching has been something I considered to be part of my past. Even when a friend asked me to preach at his church this past September, it seemed like a one-off event for me, something that I appreciated but did not expect to happen again.
I realize that much of this has been self-protection, not allowing situations and people who seem dangerous to me to get near me, or me near them. But the past few months have brought about some conversations and consideration that led to the advice I've sought over the last couple of weeks. The conversations, consideration and advice have now brought me to this place where I can write these words, these words where I out myself as not just being willing to preach again, but actually seeking opportunities to do just that. It is my hope that 2014 will be full of those opportunities.
I know that I have been called to do this. I know that I am once again answering that call. I have been given words. I will use them.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Friday, August 23, 2013
Don't blame Tony Bennett
My tastes in music run the gamut...rock, blues, jazz, some classical, new age, alt-country, old school soul. I love great musicians and great singers, especially great singers. The majority of the rock bands I listened to while I was growing up was due to their great vocals. I still love to hear great singers, no matter their genre (well, almost no matter their genre...some genre trains I just can't get on, no matter how good the vocals...those who know me best know the specific train to which I am referring).
While rock and blues have made up my primary lifelong playlist, a lot of music from the 1940's-60s really appeals to me, again most of it primarily featuring great singers. I love Sinatra, Bing, Dean, Rosemary, so many from that era. But the singer from that time and genre who still captivates me the most is Tony Bennett. I don't care what I'm doing or where I am, if I hear Tony's voice, I stop and enjoy the pure genius of his rich, lush voice. I know many feel the same way and Tony has been and remains an inspiration to countless singers of multiple generations.
With that as a backdrop, here's the point of today's blog. Tony's birthday was earlier this month (August 3) and one of the tributes to him that I read online was from a music critic who said Tony inspired him to become a music critic. I really found this interesting, as so many singers over the last half century have credited Tony with inspiring them to sing, but this is the first time I've seen a critic credit an artist for inspiring them to a career of critique (or criticism, depending on the critic and artist).
This got me thinking about the difference between participation and observation, the divide between creativity and commentary. I know numerous people who do both, but in each case their observation and commentary comes from the foundation of their creativity, from the fact that they participate in the creative process rather than just add their opinion about what someone else has done. Their right to critique has been earned by their own engagement in the struggle to bring something to life that probably no one else can...or should.
None of this is to beat up the music critic who paid tribute to Tony. Who knows, maybe he has turned readers on to several artists who otherwise may not have been known by that section of the music-loving world? Maybe he can't sing or play or note, but his love for music is so great that this is the way he can be part of something that brings joy to all of us?
But, we're surrounded by critics on every front today, most of whom seem bent on bringing something other than joy to our shared journey. Maybe they criticize because they don't believe in their gift? Maybe they don't know what their gift is? Maybe they're just scared and over time became mean as well, so dumping on someone else's gift and courage is the only thing they're any good at anymore?
Whatever has made the critic the critic, you and I still have the opportunity (every day) to decide in which part of the process we will spend our time and how we will use what is inside us. Call it a gift, call it talent, call it inspiration, call it a calling...whatever you call it, something that only you can create is waiting for you to do just that...create it. Write it, build it, video it, choreograph it, speak it, sing it, whatever it means to create it. And most of you know what your "it" is.
In The War of Art, Steven Pressfield writes, "The professional learns to recognize envy-driven criticism and to take it for what it is: the supreme compliment. The critic hates most that which he would have done himself if had had the guts." Maybe part of your calling and mine is to give the perpetual critic something to hate.
Don't hide from yourself or "it" today. Create. Show up for work today. Show up for yourself. Critics need something to talk about. The rest of us need something to inspire us, move us, teach us, transform us, as well as something to sing along to.
While rock and blues have made up my primary lifelong playlist, a lot of music from the 1940's-60s really appeals to me, again most of it primarily featuring great singers. I love Sinatra, Bing, Dean, Rosemary, so many from that era. But the singer from that time and genre who still captivates me the most is Tony Bennett. I don't care what I'm doing or where I am, if I hear Tony's voice, I stop and enjoy the pure genius of his rich, lush voice. I know many feel the same way and Tony has been and remains an inspiration to countless singers of multiple generations.
With that as a backdrop, here's the point of today's blog. Tony's birthday was earlier this month (August 3) and one of the tributes to him that I read online was from a music critic who said Tony inspired him to become a music critic. I really found this interesting, as so many singers over the last half century have credited Tony with inspiring them to sing, but this is the first time I've seen a critic credit an artist for inspiring them to a career of critique (or criticism, depending on the critic and artist).
This got me thinking about the difference between participation and observation, the divide between creativity and commentary. I know numerous people who do both, but in each case their observation and commentary comes from the foundation of their creativity, from the fact that they participate in the creative process rather than just add their opinion about what someone else has done. Their right to critique has been earned by their own engagement in the struggle to bring something to life that probably no one else can...or should.
None of this is to beat up the music critic who paid tribute to Tony. Who knows, maybe he has turned readers on to several artists who otherwise may not have been known by that section of the music-loving world? Maybe he can't sing or play or note, but his love for music is so great that this is the way he can be part of something that brings joy to all of us?
But, we're surrounded by critics on every front today, most of whom seem bent on bringing something other than joy to our shared journey. Maybe they criticize because they don't believe in their gift? Maybe they don't know what their gift is? Maybe they're just scared and over time became mean as well, so dumping on someone else's gift and courage is the only thing they're any good at anymore?
Whatever has made the critic the critic, you and I still have the opportunity (every day) to decide in which part of the process we will spend our time and how we will use what is inside us. Call it a gift, call it talent, call it inspiration, call it a calling...whatever you call it, something that only you can create is waiting for you to do just that...create it. Write it, build it, video it, choreograph it, speak it, sing it, whatever it means to create it. And most of you know what your "it" is.
In The War of Art, Steven Pressfield writes, "The professional learns to recognize envy-driven criticism and to take it for what it is: the supreme compliment. The critic hates most that which he would have done himself if had had the guts." Maybe part of your calling and mine is to give the perpetual critic something to hate.
Don't hide from yourself or "it" today. Create. Show up for work today. Show up for yourself. Critics need something to talk about. The rest of us need something to inspire us, move us, teach us, transform us, as well as something to sing along to.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
A Dangerous Decision
I recently learned that someone who I have watched from a distance has undergone a significant life-change...one that that they were neither expecting or wanting. This life-change was self-induced, even though they have chosen to not see it that way. The point on which several people who have observed this life-change seem to agree is that the change was necessary. This individual was out of control, becoming more and more damaging to people who had no way to protect themselves. And the person most at risk for suffering irreversible damage was the individual about whom I am writing.
So a life-change has come to them, but it has also come for them, even if they do not currently recognize it as such. When I first heard of their change, an unexpected thought (more like a prayer) came to mind: Please give them the grace to develop some grace. This is not a sentiment I expected to have for this person, because I definitely agreed that they needed a life-change before they brought any more reputational harm to people they seemed to care nothing about. My tendency in cases like this is to say, "Good, this is what needed to happen to them," and then I move on (in the interest of full-disclosure, I did say this initially, but then moved on to the grace thought/prayer).
"Please give them the grace to develop some grace." Upon having the thought, I was not and have not been able to shake its implications. If grace is something we are able to develop, then that development only matters if we then become people who extend that grace. And when we decide to make the extension of grace part of our basic operating system, then we have just made a very dangerous decision.
Before I explain why I believe this is dangerous, let me explain what I mean by grace. Some readers will immediately default to phrases involving unmerited favor, etc., but I'd like to put it a bit plainer, which hopefully makes the whole idea of grace more accessible to each of us. By grace I am simply referring to giving others the benefit of the doubt, even when everything in us is screaming to not do so. In addition, I believe extending grace means that I am going to value your humanity as much as my own, thereby allowing for your flaws in the same way I make room for mine.
What makes this dangerous is if I actually do this, I take something away from myself that I tend to hold pretty closely and dearly...my perceived right to dismiss you as a person, as well as to hope that what I most need for myself is not available to you. In other words, I remove from my operating system those attitudes and actions that protect me from you, making me open to being wounded by your flaws and struggles. Maybe the most dangerous aspect of this is that I take away my insistence that you must pay for what your flaws have done to myself and others.
So if I am to truly become fully human, I must allow you the space to do the same. Nothing new or ground-breaking about that statement, but operating this way will change who we are at our core and that is no small thing. The act of becoming fully human, as we are intended to be, is definitely process-driven and I believe developing grace is part of that process. This process is...
...inconvenient...not always satisfying...dangerous....ultimately transformational. This is grace.
So a life-change has come to them, but it has also come for them, even if they do not currently recognize it as such. When I first heard of their change, an unexpected thought (more like a prayer) came to mind: Please give them the grace to develop some grace. This is not a sentiment I expected to have for this person, because I definitely agreed that they needed a life-change before they brought any more reputational harm to people they seemed to care nothing about. My tendency in cases like this is to say, "Good, this is what needed to happen to them," and then I move on (in the interest of full-disclosure, I did say this initially, but then moved on to the grace thought/prayer).
"Please give them the grace to develop some grace." Upon having the thought, I was not and have not been able to shake its implications. If grace is something we are able to develop, then that development only matters if we then become people who extend that grace. And when we decide to make the extension of grace part of our basic operating system, then we have just made a very dangerous decision.
Before I explain why I believe this is dangerous, let me explain what I mean by grace. Some readers will immediately default to phrases involving unmerited favor, etc., but I'd like to put it a bit plainer, which hopefully makes the whole idea of grace more accessible to each of us. By grace I am simply referring to giving others the benefit of the doubt, even when everything in us is screaming to not do so. In addition, I believe extending grace means that I am going to value your humanity as much as my own, thereby allowing for your flaws in the same way I make room for mine.
What makes this dangerous is if I actually do this, I take something away from myself that I tend to hold pretty closely and dearly...my perceived right to dismiss you as a person, as well as to hope that what I most need for myself is not available to you. In other words, I remove from my operating system those attitudes and actions that protect me from you, making me open to being wounded by your flaws and struggles. Maybe the most dangerous aspect of this is that I take away my insistence that you must pay for what your flaws have done to myself and others.
So if I am to truly become fully human, I must allow you the space to do the same. Nothing new or ground-breaking about that statement, but operating this way will change who we are at our core and that is no small thing. The act of becoming fully human, as we are intended to be, is definitely process-driven and I believe developing grace is part of that process. This process is...
...inconvenient...not always satisfying...dangerous....ultimately transformational. This is grace.
Friday, August 2, 2013
Wake-up call
"I've been absent from my own life." Those were the words I spoke to a friend recently to describe both where I've been and who I've been for the better part of the last 18 months. For people who do not know me well and who observe my day-to-day activity, such a statement might be a surprise. For those who do know me well (of which there aren't many), I'm sure the statement is no surprise.
Life piles up on us, typically while we're busy with the things we mistakenly believe are central to living. But as most of us know, the un-examined, un-intentional life over time becomes empty and un-sustainable. At least that's what it became for me. Those words spoken to my friend came at the end of a day where an undeniable wake-up call was being offered to me. It wasn't a wake-up call of thundering voices and events, but was instead made up of small components of a day-long theme. It was an invitation. I said yes.
What I have needed to wake up from really isn't important. Bad stuff happens to all of us. We all get hurt, disappointed, misused. We lose sight of dreams. We lose sight of ourselves. I allowed the external hurt and disappointment to cloud over the dreams and selfhood I know to be true. I have begun the process of coming back to life, back to myself, reclaiming hope and true identity in the process.
And it is a process. I have not DONE this, but am instead returning to DOING it. To be absent from one's life does happen one day at a time and then the days pile up, turning into weeks, turning into far too much time. The reclaiming of one's life happens the same way. I know this, but there is a difference between the knowledge of it and the practice of it. And to practice it is to begin to reclaim the days and weeks, thereby reclaiming oneself.
The wake-up call keeps coming and I'm doing my best to answer it each day. It's nice to be present in my own life again. Hope that's true for you as well today.
Life piles up on us, typically while we're busy with the things we mistakenly believe are central to living. But as most of us know, the un-examined, un-intentional life over time becomes empty and un-sustainable. At least that's what it became for me. Those words spoken to my friend came at the end of a day where an undeniable wake-up call was being offered to me. It wasn't a wake-up call of thundering voices and events, but was instead made up of small components of a day-long theme. It was an invitation. I said yes.
What I have needed to wake up from really isn't important. Bad stuff happens to all of us. We all get hurt, disappointed, misused. We lose sight of dreams. We lose sight of ourselves. I allowed the external hurt and disappointment to cloud over the dreams and selfhood I know to be true. I have begun the process of coming back to life, back to myself, reclaiming hope and true identity in the process.
And it is a process. I have not DONE this, but am instead returning to DOING it. To be absent from one's life does happen one day at a time and then the days pile up, turning into weeks, turning into far too much time. The reclaiming of one's life happens the same way. I know this, but there is a difference between the knowledge of it and the practice of it. And to practice it is to begin to reclaim the days and weeks, thereby reclaiming oneself.
The wake-up call keeps coming and I'm doing my best to answer it each day. It's nice to be present in my own life again. Hope that's true for you as well today.
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